At some point.
I liked you.
Or needed you enough.
To Pay For You.
And Bring You Home.
But I don’t use you.
Or love you any longer.
It’s like a Shakespearean tragedy.
I’d say ‘Do I love you enough to buy you?’ and ‘Will I still love you in a year’s time?’
Apparently my new-found and let’s face it, rather odd way of communicating with inanimate objects, wasn’t really helping. Because I still kept buying them. Even though I suspected they were destined to have a similar fate to the many things I already owned.
Unworn. Unused. Unappreciated.
But then something shifted.
I was at the beach one day and decided to write my intention in the sand…
Even if you don’t particularly like that aspect of yourself.
Our comfort zone is our comfort zone, even when it’s actually not that comfortable. We just think it’s easier to stay in it than to take a step toward something new. Something healthier. Something brighter. Something we are far more deserving of.
So I sat on the beach looking at the words I’d carved into the sand and asked myself why I was procrastinating rather than doing.
Because sometimes I like to question.
Okay, I always like to question :)
I am always curious about How Things Work.
And How Something is Made.
And Why People Do What They Do.
And Why On Earth I Do Some of The Things I Do!
And I knew for me, it was about feeling ready. Preparing myself for what I felt at the time, would be a year of deprivation.
Every night so far this year I have come home and written down everything I’ve spent money on that day - I know, my nerdiness knows no bounds!
I am now in Week 4 of The Year of More and it may not seem major to anyone reading this, but for me to not have bought a book or a DVD or an item of clothing in almost a month is quite the achievement!
Oh my goodness. That’s about $170 a week I was spending on Things I Don’t Need. Admittedly, I did buy some of those items because I knew I was starting The Year of Deprivation… err, The Year of More and I did in fact actually need a couple of them. But if I’m completely honest with you and myself, only a couple of these items would be classed as needs - even to yours truly who has adopted a very liberal use of the term. The other $1,450 worth, were Most Definitely, Wants.
So yes, reaching Week 4 having zeros in these columns is very exciting indeed.
My proudest moment over the last few weeks was shopping with a friend and seeing a book on sale (by an author I really like) and not buying it. And not only was this book on sale, the price was $1.45.
Yes, One Dollar and Forty-Five Cents for a Brand New Book – I kid you not.
And Yet I Still Didn’t Buy It.
Even though my brain was screaming…
So I put the $1.45 (bargain bargain bargain!!!) book back on the shelf and left the store with more determination than ever to have The Year of More.
I am discovering just how empowering it is to challenge the way I think and therefore, act. And I am absolutely loving it!