Twenty-Seventeen... The Year of More Love
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Have you ever given away something you’ve absolutely loved? (Part 1)

25/12/2014

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Hi, my name is Karen Young and I'm not very good at selling things.

But I am exceptionally good at Giving Things Away!

After the Brisbane floods in January 2011, I gave away most of my furniture. I had just moved into my little beach house at Scarborough and I still had a house full of furniture I’d bought with my ex-husband a gazillion years before, so I thought it was definitely time for Some New Stuff.

Sadly, the floods left thousands of people in South East Queensland without their worldly possessions so I was able to donate my goods and chattels to those who needed them most. If there is a time to assess how much stuff you have in your life, it’s when others have lost Every Item They Own. 

It really puts in perspective just how many things we have in our lives doesn't it?

So it kind of made sense that The Year of More might involve a fair amount of Giving Away Things as I seek to declutter my life – both emotionally and physically.

I have donated Quite a Lot of Bags of clothes, linen, CDs, DVDs and books to charity over the last few weeks…
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Worldly belongings patiently awaiting their fate
… and as I was going through the house, I looked at my Christmas Tree hidden away in its big white box and decided it could better fulfill its Mission in Life in a house where it will be loved and valued more than it does in The Tree House (where I’ve yet to put it up!).

So I rang my lovely contact at IFYS (Integrated Family & Youth Services) in Maroochydore to ask if she knew of anyone who might like to Adopt a Christmas Tree and she had been working with a young family who had been homeless for quite some time and they had just moved into a unit. When she said their young boy had never had a Christmas tree, I got goosebumps and knew I had found the right family.

And Christmas Tree, well he was rustling away with excitement in his box that’s for sure!

As it would be wrong to give away a naked tree, I also donated a box of some of the gorgeous decorations I’ve collected over the years.
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Bye bye Very Cute Things
As so often happens (to me anyway!), one little idea grew into a Much Bigger Idea and Karen-Joy-Mas was born!
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I decided I was going to happily give away One Item I Loved or Greatly Valued (i.e. it cost a lot of money!) for twelve days in the lead up to Christmas. As well as being fun, it would be a grand lesson in non-attachment.

I must admit I found it difficult to part with some of the items I chose.

But that was the whole idea.

To challenge myself.

Because I’m not sure I’ve actually ever given away anything I’ve loved before.

I’ve bought gifts that I’ve adored (and just quietly, would have been happy to keep for myself rather than giving them as presents!). But I’m not sure I’ve ever given away something I absolutely love and highly value. And not necessarily because it’s worth a lot of money but because it has special meaning or memories attached to it. 

One of the items I gave away only cost $30 but it was the hardest of all twelve to part with.

As some of the items are still in transit I’m not going to share what they were until I know they’ve all been received as I don’t want to spoil anyone's surprise.

Besides, a couple haven’t yet been sent – it appears my ‘twelve days in the lead up to Christmas’ may be a bit of a stretch so perhaps ‘twelve days around about Christmas and New Year’ may be more apt!

Although I can tell you that Karen-Joy-Mas Gift No. 12 was Giving My Time. Which is what I did today. I'll share more about that lovely experience in Part 2 of this Blog post.

One of the most wonderful things about Karen-Joy-Mas was thinking about who to send what to. Some of them were obvious but other things I simply sat with until a person’s face came to mind and some, like the Christmas Tree, went to random strangers.

As I was surveying My Worldly Possessions, I thought about the things I couldn't possibly ever give away.

My Very First Teddy Bear...
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Look at me rocking my Elvis hair!
Here’s Blue Bear now…
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Slightly faded but ever so cherished
The $4 snow globe I searched all over New York for. I shake it almost every day as it sits near my CD player. It represents a dream come true.
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A cushion a gorgeous friend embroidered for my 45th Birthday Joy Day.
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My childhood copy of ‘The Wishing Chair Again’ (not sure what happened to my copy of ‘The Wishing Chair’!) with my cute 11-year old handwriting on the inside which says, ‘This book belongs to Miss Karen Owen, 1979’. I was surprised to find it didn’t have a little paper pocket inside the back cover with one of the homemade library cards I used to make tucked inside it. So nerdy! 

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My copy of the London A-Z I used Almost Every Day for 18 months.
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Jewellery which belonged to my Mum and grandmothers.
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Dad’s mother’s rose gold bracelet which would be about 80 years old.
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Mum’s wedding ring and her Mum’s wedding ring. Little gold circles of love.
And this little stuffed bunny a young boy gave me ten years ago after granting his wish to go to the snow (and the Letterbox Joy he sent was pretty spesh too so I framed it).
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It’s not many things really is it?

In an entire house full of things.

Because most of them are Just Things. Things we use, things we love, things we value, but at the end of the day, they really are just things.

As I also adore Giving Away Words, here’s a little story I wrote a couple of years ago from the perspective of a Christmas Tree (be warned, he’s a grumpy little thing!).

‘Oh Christmas Tree.

You’ve got no idea what it’s like to only be used for a week or two each year, no idea!

I would give anything to be an ‘every day’ tree, one who gets to be there for every family occasion and not just at Christmas time when, let’s face it, they’re all tired, stressed and have quite obviously been hit with the crazy stick. And the kids! They don’t even notice me; they notice the shiny round ornaments that hang off my branches and the brightly wrapped packages beneath me but they don’t really see me.  

Imagine being there, but feeling as though you’re never actually seen?

And every Christmas I get grumpier and grumpier and feel less and less like standing tall and proud. I can’t actually remember the last Christmas I felt jolly and joyfully bounded out of my prison of a cardboard box into the living room.

The other gripe I have is that it’s all about Santa Claus. What people don’t realise is that he has a tribe of elves doing all his work for him! Yes, I know you’ve heard of Santa’s elves but I don’t think you understand just how much they DO. Everything! Absolutely everything! Santa’s gotten so huge these days (and I’m not referring to his public adoration!) that his doctor often confines him to complete bed rest around Christmas because it’s 'such a stressful time of the year'!  Bah humbug, I’ll give him stressful! Try being a tree with abandonment issues and a fear of the dark who is squashed into a cupboard for fifty weeks of the year!

And don't get me started on that show-offy angel that steals all the limelight! What a pretentious gadabout she is, prancing about like she’s Queen of the World. If it weren't for me she'd be nothing. N O T H I N G!!!!

Oh how I wish I were one of the Christmas trees of yesteryear that were elegantly decorated with candles, nuts and fruit. Now it’s all about unbearably hot lights that make my branches wilt and cheap tinsel. Do you have any idea how ridiculously itchy tinsel is? Growing up, I daydreamed of being the chosen Christmas tree in Piccadilly Circus in London or outside the Rockefeller Centre in New York. They’re the gigs all us self-respecting Christmas trees long for. But no, I’m just like every other run of the mill 6-foot tall tree you buy in a department store. Apparently I’m not unique or special enough to be on display in such a public place.  It appears my destiny is to be crammed into a suburban living room with no ventilation and barely any possibility of ever being seen by anyone who might actually appreciate my natural beauty.  

Okay, okay, I know I’m an artificial tree but I do look about as natural as they get these days. I’m not one of those fibre-optic trees that come in all sorts of colours – what a load of hogwash!  

Trees are green.  End of story.'


Hope you’ve had yourself a Merry Little Christmas lovely peeps. If you don’t have an item you adore to give away this Christmas, just give away your love as that’s the most precious gift of all.



I'll be back with Part 2 very very soon!

Joyful hugs,

Karen  xo

‘Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.’ Lao-Tzu
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Where does the love go?

13/4/2014

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My inspiration for this little venture of self-discovery was the feeling I kept having when looking at items in my home that I haven’t worn or used for months (okay, there's the slight possibility some of them may not have been worn or used for years… yikes!), and then thinking:

At some point.
I liked you.
Loved you.
Or needed you enough.
To Pay For You.
And Bring You Home.
But I don’t use you.
Wear you.
Like you.
Or love you any longer.

It’s like a Shakespearean tragedy.

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So I kept this in mind when I would go to buy New Stuff.

I’d say ‘Do I love you enough to buy you?’ and ‘Will I still love you in a year’s time?’

Apparently my new-found and let’s face it, rather odd way of communicating with inanimate objects, wasn’t really helping. Because I still kept buying them. Even though I suspected they were destined to have a similar fate to the many things I already owned. 


Unworn. Unused. Unappreciated. 

But then something shifted.

I was at the beach one day and decided to write my intention in the sand…

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I strongly believe in the Power of the Written Word so I knew this would catapult me into action. I felt a little rush of excitement surge through my body as I thought about how wonderful it is to explore a habit or a fear or a part of yourself you generally just accept without question. 

Even if you don’t particularly like that aspect of yourself. 

Our comfort zone is our comfort zone, even when it’s actually not that comfortable. We just think it’s easier to stay in it than to take a step toward something new. Something healthier. Something brighter. Something we are far more deserving of.

So I sat on the beach looking at the words I’d carved into the sand and asked myself why I was procrastinating rather than doing.

Because sometimes I like to question.

Okay, I always like to question :)

I am always curious about How Things Work. 

And How Something is Made.

And Why People Do What They Do. 

And Why On Earth I Do Some of The Things I Do!

And I knew for me, it was about feeling ready. Preparing myself for what I felt at the time, would be a year of deprivation.

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So I started keeping a Spending Diary. Something entirely unheard of in My Happy Little World of Mindless Spending!

Every night so far this year I have come home and written down everything I’ve spent money on that day - I know, my nerdiness knows no bounds! 

I am now in Week 4 of The Year of More and it may not seem major to anyone reading this, but for me to not have bought a book or a DVD or an item of clothing in almost a month is quite the achievement!


Especially as my Spending Diary (lovingly typed up into a spreadsheet containing nerdy little formulas), informed me that I had spent $1,645.63 on clothing, shoes, books and DVDs from 1 January to 17 March. 

Oh my goodness. That’s about $170 a week I was spending on Things I Don’t Need. Admittedly, I did buy some of those items because I knew I was starting The Year of Deprivation… err, The Year of More and I did in fact actually need a couple of them. But if I’m completely honest with you and myself, only a couple of these items would be classed as needs - even to yours truly who has adopted a very liberal use of the term. The other $1,450 worth, were Most Definitely, Wants.

So yes, reaching Week 4 having zeros in these columns is very exciting indeed.

My proudest moment over the last few weeks was shopping with a friend and seeing a book on sale (by an author I really like) and not buying it. And not only was this book on sale, the price was $1.45. 


Yes, One Dollar and Forty-Five Cents for a Brand New Book – I kid you not.

And Yet I Still Didn’t Buy It. 

Even though my brain was screaming…

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I even surprised myself with that one! But I figure it’s a dangerously slippery slope giving myself permission to buy something because I perceive it to be a bargain - because a ‘bargain’ is relative to the item, the price, the value it has to me and my financial situation at the time. 

So I put the $1.45 (bargain bargain bargain!!!) book back on the shelf and left the store with more determination than ever to have The Year of More.

I am discovering just how empowering it is to challenge the way I think and therefore, act. And I am absolutely loving it!

Joyful hugs,

K xo

‘The essence of philosophy is that a man should so live that his happiness shall depend as little as possible on external things.’ Epictetus
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So what's The Year of More all about?

28/3/2014

16 Comments

 
I have a plan to have The Year of More. By consuming less, spending less and worrying less, I'm going to create more of the meaningful stuff, the joy-filled stuff, the surely-this-is-what-we’re-here-for-stuff, whilst letting go of the less important stuff.

I first had the idea for The Year of More just before Christmas and the thought of Not Buying Books or Dresses or DVDs or Jewellery or ordering Letterbox Joy delights through Vistaprint for an Entire Year did freak me out slightly.

Okay, more than slightly.

So I procrastinated throughout the month of January (whilst, yes, I kept buying books and dresses and DVDs and jewellery and ordering LBJ delights from Vistaprint) until I knew in my heart this was something I Truly Wanted To Do. 
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I kept thinking, ‘what will happen if I stop spending money on the new, and use what I already have?’ Nothing bad can possibly come from it.

So why is it so scary?

Why does the simple thought of Not Buying Superfluous Things for One Year automatically have me rushing out to spend money on superfluous things?

What could possibly happen?

What is my fear?

What will peeling back this particular onion reveal?

You know what I realised?

By doing this, I could actually finally stop filling that hole with stuff. You know the hole I’m referring to? The hole that craves love or acceptance or belonging or validation or peace or whatever it is The Hole craves. Mine has craved different things at various times throughout my life but I suspect it's only come close to being emptied on the rarest of occasions. Only during the most gut wrenching, soul searching, rawest, broken moments of my life have I even come close to not automatically wanting to fill it. Because it's been in those moments that my soul has wanted to expand to let the light in. To show me that the darkness I fear isn't some big scary hole of nothingness and emptiness but a place of absolute peace and contentment.
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We use alcohol, drugs, sex, relationships - either wanting one or staying in one - food, shopping, television, work - almost anything we have access to can be used as a way of Avoiding Our True Feelings. Some of these things we do purely for pleasure and as a form of relaxation but it's when we know deep down we're doing them for another reason - a more profound reason - that it may be wise to stop to consider What That Reason Is. Two of my personal favourites have always been eating and shopping - neither of which I've done excessively. I don't buy extravagant things and I’ve certainly never gotten myself into mountains of debt (apart from buying and selling the occasional house of course!) so it’s not about that. 

It’s about why The Need To Do It Is There At All.
PictureYummy cake we enjoyed at work
So rather than rushing into it when I clearly had a few reservations (a gentler way of saying I was majorly procrastinating), I decided to set the goal of starting on Monday, 17 March 2014 - my Birthday Joy Day.

But apparently my procrastination knows no bounds. I had friends stay with me for the weekend to celebrate. And I had Monday off work. And we went shopping. And I bought a dress. Or two.

So I started on Tuesday, 18 March and from that date, I vowed to only buy things I Need for One Whole Year.

A slight stipulation to this rule is absolutely necessary I’m afraid as I’m going to New York in early March 2015 so I may, (translation: will absolutely), need to finish a couple of weeks early. It’s New York. Enough Said. So technically it won’t be A Full Year but I thought The Year of More was slightly more stylish than 50 Weeks of More :)

So what is allowed you ask? 

What are my needs you ask??

Are all the rules as flexible as the timeframe you ask???

Okay, so food items are obviously approved Items of Need but only when my fridge/pantry is without these items. I once read that most people could live off the food in their homes for weeks which I’m sure applies to me – I’m almost positive a can of beans in my pantry was boxed up and moved from the pantry in my previous house more than a year ago.
Picture The joyful purchase of Fabulous Coat Number 4 (not a typo) in Greenwich Village, New York, October 2010






So if there’s already chocolate in the house - my heart has started to palpitate merely constructing this sentence - I Won’t Buy Any More. There. I’ve put it in writing. Losing weight isn’t necessarily one of my goals for the coming year but if The Year of More results in me losing a few I-had-the-most-fun-putting-you-on kilos around my middle, so be it!

Obviously I need to pay my bills – phone, Internet, electricity, water, rates, insurance, mortgage, registration for Emma (my car) etc. but I will be more mindful about the way I use these items in order to use less of our beautiful planet’s dwindling resources. Petrol is a necessity but I will ensure I buy it at the most discounted rate I can find. And I know my Dad will remind me to make sure my tyres have enough air in them so Emma uses fuel more efficiently so I shall do that too (thanks Kenny, love you x).


Household items such as toilet paper, tissues, shampoo, soap, toothpaste, and deodorant are mandatory if I want anyone to socialise with me over the coming year :) But I've recently run out of my favourite perfume 'Angel' and I won't replace it as I have a perfectly good bottle of 'Daisy' sitting there ready to fulfil it's mission to make me smell lovely. 
Theatre tickets – yes, I know, you’re probably thinking how can that possibly be a need? Welllllll, this is a Need of The Soul and in order for me to do this successfully, I am going to have to nurture my soul over the next 12 months. So Theatre Joy Tickets will be my one luxurious need. 
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    Theatre Joy is food for my soul

One lesson I’ve already learnt in life is a Need of The Soul should never be ignored. And must be nurtured. At. Every. Available. Opportunity.

Oh, okay, massages are a need for me too so make that ‘two luxurious needs’. Wait, don’t log out just yet - let me explain. I get migraines and having a monthly massage helps to prevent them. See, definitely a need if I want to live a Rich Fulfilling Healthy Life.

I also love sending Letterbox Joy to friends all over the world so I shall maintain my commitment to increase the profits of Australia Post forevermore.

And I regularly donate to six amazing charities each month and I obviously won't stop doing that as the work they do continues to touch my heart.

But this is more about stuff as I believe spending money on experiencing life - via a trip to the theatre, or dinner with friends, or a plane ticket to Melbourne to hug my Dad - they're all the Essentials of Life because they bring me endless joy. And as this whole venture is about Creating More Joy, it seems crazy to limit the joy creation I already have. 

Stuff is different though as I believe the joy factor connected to stuff has a limited shelf life - a new dress or CD might bring us joy in the moment but at some point, the Value of Joy it provides to us diminishes - sometimes to the point where we wouldn't even notice if the item was missing from our lives. But the memory of a trip to the theatre or shared laughter over a meal or the feeling of a long warm hug, those Joy Creators stay with us and creep into our souls and remain their forever. 

Sooooo, I realise I've just given you a pretty large list of What I'll Still Buy, which rather contradicts my earlier grand declaration to limit my spending.

So what won't I buy? 

I won’t buy any clothes (not even undies or socks), or books - I’m breaking out in a sweat just typing those two words - or DVDs, or CDs, or jewellery, or furniture, or cute little decorative things for The Tree House, or electrical appliances (unless they break), or towels or doona covers or cushions or other beautiful household items I am most fond of. 

And I hereby promise to Not Order Anything From Vistaprint until I've used all the Letterbox Joy cards - and magnets and recently produced brochures :) - that I already have.


Because, trust me, I have More Than Enough of all of those things.
In fact, over the next couple of weeks I am going to put my finely honed nerdy nerd skills to work and complete an inventory of Almost Everything I Own. 

I’m sure it will be the scariest spreadsheet I’ve ever seen. 

Row upon row of inanimate objects with what I’m sure will be a large number next to most of them.
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         Nerdy Nerd Spreadsheet

Some of which I’m equally sure I will be quite embarrassed about. I look forward to sharing that embarrassment with you in the name of transparency and growth.

So I’m curious to see what will happen over the next year. Will I feel less happy, less content, less worthy? I suspect the opposite will in fact happen and that I will have absolute proof that all that stuff actually gets in the way of the stuff that does bring true happiness and contentment and a feeling of worthiness. 

I believe Having Less will create More of the Other Stuff – the Joy Creating Stuff!

So I don’t know how exciting or interesting it will be for you to read about me re-reading my favourite book or wearing a bra I haven’t worn in eons :) But for some reason I felt the need to make this a Public Declaration of The Year of More - perhaps to feel truly committed to Doing This. 

Because putting something in writing. 

In public. 

Is a Rather Grand Declaration of Intent.

Or maybe my insights (here’s hoping there will actually be some) might inspire One Other Person to count their books and dresses and to realise They Have Enough Stuff Already and to look for the Real Important Stuff - the Stuff That Feeds Their Soul.

I know I’m looking forward to exploring what else feeds mine.

Endless thanks for reading My First Ever Blog Joy Post!! I promise future posts won't be quite this long :)

Joyful hugs,


K xo
“The things that matter the most in this world, they can never be held in our hand.” Gloria Gaither  
16 Comments
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    This is me

    Hi, I’m Karen Young and I live on the beautiful Sunshine Coast in Australia. I'm a passionate, nerdy, loud, quirky introvert who loves words, elephants, people, the beach, champagne, chocolate, sunsets, trees, travel, books, Joy of every kind but especially Letterbox Joy, Writing Joy and Theatre Joy. I adore being inspired to Live More, Love More and Be More. I love fiercely and hurt deeply. I make mistakes, lots and lots of lots of mistakes! And I learn from most of them although some lessons seem to take me a lifetime to learn so Life is most definitely a constant Work In Progress xo

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