Twenty-Seventeen... The Year of More Love
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Do you remember Charlie’s surname? 

27/3/2016

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When my Mum was a little girl she would regularly spend every precious cent she had on a bag of lollies and I loved when she shared these stories with me as she’d go into delicious, delectable detail.
 
She painted such a bright picture in my mind of just how much joy this experience brought her.
 
She’d describe her excited walk to the local milk bar and then she’d stand looking up at the counter filled with colourful sugary delights and slowly…
 
ever
so
slowly
 
she’d select her favourite treats and watch as the milk bar owner packed them all tightly into a little white paper bag before handing them down to her.
 
And every time she told me this story, she’d stop to laugh at this point as she admitted that hardly any of those lollies would make it all the way home.  

​Clearly for those particular lollies it was more about the journey than the destination.
 
I definitely inherited every little piece of Mum’s lollie-loving DNA as I was exactly the same as a little girl. And I followed her footsteps by walking to the local milk bar more times than I can count.
 
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Your typical Melbourne Milk Bar (aka real estate filled with lollies). Image www.concreteplayground.com
I can still remember the feel and weight of one of those little bags of lollies in my hand.
 
It’s a shame those Very Expensive lolly stands they have at shopping centres and movie theatres these days don’t use Little White Paper Bags. Plastic bags just aren’t the same. At all.


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Little White Paper Bags patiently awaiting their sweet-filled fate
It'll come as no surprise to hear that one of my favourite movies as a child was ‘Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory’. It was such a fantastical adventure into what I sincerely hoped was a real chocolate factory because I longed to win a competition to visit it myself. I so badly wanted one of those golden tickets so I could meet the Oompa-Loompas.

So you can imagine how excited I was when Mum told me she once worked in a chocolate factory. I figured that had to be The Best Job In The World!!!
 
Remember when Lucy and Ethel worked in a chocolate factory? Soooooo funny!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NPzLBSBzPI

I remember being out to dinner with friends when I was in my twenties and somehow we started talking about Willy Wonka and none of us could remember Charlie’s surname so I started going from table to table in the restaurant asking random strangers if they knew what his name was. Ah, finding the answers to questions was so much more creative and interactive prior to the invention of Google wasn't it? (Remember that night Ann? So Much Fun and I met so many lovely strangers who all had the opportunity to revisit their childhood, whether they wanted to or not... haha!)

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My love of sugary treats knew no bounds and most of my pocket money was spent on lollies, just as Mum’s had been a few decades earlier.
 
Although when I Fell Deeply Head Over Heels in Love With Books, I started keeping some of my pocket money to spend on those too. 
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Image from www.aclutteredmind.com
 It was such a delicious love triangle. Books, Lollies and Me.
 
And I was similar to Mum as I don’t think the concept of ‘save some for later’ ever resonated with me. 
 
Not when it came to lollies or money. I ate them as soon as they were in my possession and I spent it as soon as I received it.
 
Save Some For Later.
 
It’s such a foreign concept.
 
I just don’t get it and I agree with Ross.
 
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Image from www.gifrific.com
Growing up, there were two BIG lollie and chocolate-related events in life.
 
Easter and the Royal Melbourne Show.
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Bertie Beetle Show Bags were the best! Image: www.heraldsun.com.au
One family tradition I remember vividly is our trip to the Royal Melbourne Show in September each year. We went on rides, ate fairy floss, got lost in the crowds on occasion and without fail, my brother and I came home with a ridiculous amount of show bags in our possession. We’d sit on the floor in the living room counting our plentiful stash of sweet treats and trinkets. What joy those family excursions brought us. Not just because of the things we received but because Dad worked shift work so a day out with both of our parents was Extra Special.
 
The Easter Bunny was a very generous visitor in our house and getting a Humpty Dumpty was the pinnacle of Easter treats. I still buy a Humpty Dumpty every year as it takes me right back to my childhood.
 
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Humpty Dumpty circa 2016. Don't fall Humpty!
My brother is the total opposite of Mum and I when it comes to sweets.
 
Mum and Dad would obviously give us the same amount of Easter Eggs or buy us the same amount of show bags but without fail, I would eat all my sweet treats within a couple of days and he would still have his a few weeks later.
 
Oh, the torture of seeing his little piles of Easter Eggs in the fridge after I’d eaten all of mine. Eventually I’d beg him for one of course, which would delight him as he knew he could get me to do something to earn one of his eggs!
 
Childhood can be rough to navigate when you have a big brother who knows all your weaknesses.
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Check out how happy he is to be holding the chocolate… and how grumpy I am that I don’t have any. Not happy Jan.
This photo was taken on my brother’s birthday but I’m sure I wouldn’t have understood why I didn’t get a block of chocolate as well. I loved it more afterall. Surely that's a good enough reason?

I remember Mum telling me this photo was taken on a really hot day in Perth and David’s chocolate melted by the time we got back to the car from this lookout.

Which is, of course, a pretty solid reason to always eat chocolate Right Away!!! The risk of the Melty Monster getting his hands on it is way too great.
 
So the challenge I set myself for the month of February was to not eat any chocolate, lollies or ice-cream for Twenty-Nine entire days (and yes, I did choose February to do this particular challenge as it’s the shortest month of the year).
 
I was not to eat one single mouthful.
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Image from www.debbieohi.com
And I did it so easily I was shocked!
 
Absolutely shocked.
 
As you now know, I’ve had a life-long love affair with All Things Sweet so I honestly thought this would be a really difficult thing to do for an entire month.
 
Twenty-nine days.
 
Six hundred and ninety-six hours.
 
Forty-one thousand, seven hundred and sixty seconds.
 
A really REALLY long time.
 
So why was it so easy?
 
Because it was short-term.
 
So my brain and body knew they would get to enjoy these treats again in the near future.
 
It’s a simple as that.
 
Had I said ‘I’m giving up sugar forever’
 
or
 
‘I’m never going to eat a bag of lollies ever again for the rest of my life’
 
I would have failed within the first few days.
 
But I went Twenty-Nine whole days and not only did I do it easily, I also didn’t really miss it.
 
I even had a block of Lindt chocolate in the fridge The Entire Time which went untouched. 

I did glance at it adoringly on occasion though.
 
So have I gone back to my wicked chocolate, lolly and ice-cream eating ways in March? Oh course I have! I’m nibbling on a Humpty Dumpty as I type this (yep, the one in the photo above… thanks for your yumminess HD. You've now lovingly fulfilled your mission in life to be adored, appreciated and devoured).

The Easter Bunny has always managed to keep track of where I’m living no matter how often I move. He's very clever like that.
 
And the other reason why I’m eating Sweet Treats again is because I’m my mother’s daughter through and through.
 
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We even wore hats that resembled white paper lolly bags!
One of my favourite books, ‘The Lady and the Chocolate’ by Edward Monkton always reminds me that we’re doing a wonderful service by eating chocolate… take a look at this short clip about the book.
 
You’ll never feel guilty about eating chocolate again. I promise.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbI7UD8mt8I

See, what a happy story that is.
 
By the way, his surname was Bucket… Charlie Bucket. Just in case you were curious and haven’t gotten around to Googling it yet.
 
Joyful hugs,
 
Karen  xo
 
‘People are like M&Ms. They come in a variety of colors, they're hard on the outside, and full of obscene yumminess on the inside.’ Michael Makai


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Have you ever given away something you’ve absolutely loved? (Part 1)

25/12/2014

1 Comment

 
Hi, my name is Karen Young and I'm not very good at selling things.

But I am exceptionally good at Giving Things Away!

After the Brisbane floods in January 2011, I gave away most of my furniture. I had just moved into my little beach house at Scarborough and I still had a house full of furniture I’d bought with my ex-husband a gazillion years before, so I thought it was definitely time for Some New Stuff.

Sadly, the floods left thousands of people in South East Queensland without their worldly possessions so I was able to donate my goods and chattels to those who needed them most. If there is a time to assess how much stuff you have in your life, it’s when others have lost Every Item They Own. 

It really puts in perspective just how many things we have in our lives doesn't it?

So it kind of made sense that The Year of More might involve a fair amount of Giving Away Things as I seek to declutter my life – both emotionally and physically.

I have donated Quite a Lot of Bags of clothes, linen, CDs, DVDs and books to charity over the last few weeks…
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Worldly belongings patiently awaiting their fate
… and as I was going through the house, I looked at my Christmas Tree hidden away in its big white box and decided it could better fulfill its Mission in Life in a house where it will be loved and valued more than it does in The Tree House (where I’ve yet to put it up!).

So I rang my lovely contact at IFYS (Integrated Family & Youth Services) in Maroochydore to ask if she knew of anyone who might like to Adopt a Christmas Tree and she had been working with a young family who had been homeless for quite some time and they had just moved into a unit. When she said their young boy had never had a Christmas tree, I got goosebumps and knew I had found the right family.

And Christmas Tree, well he was rustling away with excitement in his box that’s for sure!

As it would be wrong to give away a naked tree, I also donated a box of some of the gorgeous decorations I’ve collected over the years.
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Bye bye Very Cute Things
As so often happens (to me anyway!), one little idea grew into a Much Bigger Idea and Karen-Joy-Mas was born!
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I decided I was going to happily give away One Item I Loved or Greatly Valued (i.e. it cost a lot of money!) for twelve days in the lead up to Christmas. As well as being fun, it would be a grand lesson in non-attachment.

I must admit I found it difficult to part with some of the items I chose.

But that was the whole idea.

To challenge myself.

Because I’m not sure I’ve actually ever given away anything I’ve loved before.

I’ve bought gifts that I’ve adored (and just quietly, would have been happy to keep for myself rather than giving them as presents!). But I’m not sure I’ve ever given away something I absolutely love and highly value. And not necessarily because it’s worth a lot of money but because it has special meaning or memories attached to it. 

One of the items I gave away only cost $30 but it was the hardest of all twelve to part with.

As some of the items are still in transit I’m not going to share what they were until I know they’ve all been received as I don’t want to spoil anyone's surprise.

Besides, a couple haven’t yet been sent – it appears my ‘twelve days in the lead up to Christmas’ may be a bit of a stretch so perhaps ‘twelve days around about Christmas and New Year’ may be more apt!

Although I can tell you that Karen-Joy-Mas Gift No. 12 was Giving My Time. Which is what I did today. I'll share more about that lovely experience in Part 2 of this Blog post.

One of the most wonderful things about Karen-Joy-Mas was thinking about who to send what to. Some of them were obvious but other things I simply sat with until a person’s face came to mind and some, like the Christmas Tree, went to random strangers.

As I was surveying My Worldly Possessions, I thought about the things I couldn't possibly ever give away.

My Very First Teddy Bear...
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Look at me rocking my Elvis hair!
Here’s Blue Bear now…
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Slightly faded but ever so cherished
The $4 snow globe I searched all over New York for. I shake it almost every day as it sits near my CD player. It represents a dream come true.
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A cushion a gorgeous friend embroidered for my 45th Birthday Joy Day.
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My childhood copy of ‘The Wishing Chair Again’ (not sure what happened to my copy of ‘The Wishing Chair’!) with my cute 11-year old handwriting on the inside which says, ‘This book belongs to Miss Karen Owen, 1979’. I was surprised to find it didn’t have a little paper pocket inside the back cover with one of the homemade library cards I used to make tucked inside it. So nerdy! 

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My copy of the London A-Z I used Almost Every Day for 18 months.
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Jewellery which belonged to my Mum and grandmothers.
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Dad’s mother’s rose gold bracelet which would be about 80 years old.
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Mum’s wedding ring and her Mum’s wedding ring. Little gold circles of love.
And this little stuffed bunny a young boy gave me ten years ago after granting his wish to go to the snow (and the Letterbox Joy he sent was pretty spesh too so I framed it).
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It’s not many things really is it?

In an entire house full of things.

Because most of them are Just Things. Things we use, things we love, things we value, but at the end of the day, they really are just things.

As I also adore Giving Away Words, here’s a little story I wrote a couple of years ago from the perspective of a Christmas Tree (be warned, he’s a grumpy little thing!).

‘Oh Christmas Tree.

You’ve got no idea what it’s like to only be used for a week or two each year, no idea!

I would give anything to be an ‘every day’ tree, one who gets to be there for every family occasion and not just at Christmas time when, let’s face it, they’re all tired, stressed and have quite obviously been hit with the crazy stick. And the kids! They don’t even notice me; they notice the shiny round ornaments that hang off my branches and the brightly wrapped packages beneath me but they don’t really see me.  

Imagine being there, but feeling as though you’re never actually seen?

And every Christmas I get grumpier and grumpier and feel less and less like standing tall and proud. I can’t actually remember the last Christmas I felt jolly and joyfully bounded out of my prison of a cardboard box into the living room.

The other gripe I have is that it’s all about Santa Claus. What people don’t realise is that he has a tribe of elves doing all his work for him! Yes, I know you’ve heard of Santa’s elves but I don’t think you understand just how much they DO. Everything! Absolutely everything! Santa’s gotten so huge these days (and I’m not referring to his public adoration!) that his doctor often confines him to complete bed rest around Christmas because it’s 'such a stressful time of the year'!  Bah humbug, I’ll give him stressful! Try being a tree with abandonment issues and a fear of the dark who is squashed into a cupboard for fifty weeks of the year!

And don't get me started on that show-offy angel that steals all the limelight! What a pretentious gadabout she is, prancing about like she’s Queen of the World. If it weren't for me she'd be nothing. N O T H I N G!!!!

Oh how I wish I were one of the Christmas trees of yesteryear that were elegantly decorated with candles, nuts and fruit. Now it’s all about unbearably hot lights that make my branches wilt and cheap tinsel. Do you have any idea how ridiculously itchy tinsel is? Growing up, I daydreamed of being the chosen Christmas tree in Piccadilly Circus in London or outside the Rockefeller Centre in New York. They’re the gigs all us self-respecting Christmas trees long for. But no, I’m just like every other run of the mill 6-foot tall tree you buy in a department store. Apparently I’m not unique or special enough to be on display in such a public place.  It appears my destiny is to be crammed into a suburban living room with no ventilation and barely any possibility of ever being seen by anyone who might actually appreciate my natural beauty.  

Okay, okay, I know I’m an artificial tree but I do look about as natural as they get these days. I’m not one of those fibre-optic trees that come in all sorts of colours – what a load of hogwash!  

Trees are green.  End of story.'


Hope you’ve had yourself a Merry Little Christmas lovely peeps. If you don’t have an item you adore to give away this Christmas, just give away your love as that’s the most precious gift of all.



I'll be back with Part 2 very very soon!

Joyful hugs,

Karen  xo

‘Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.’ Lao-Tzu
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Have you ever cheated on your tax return?

21/9/2014

6 Comments

 
My Dad is The Most Honest Man on the Planet. 

Seriously.

My grandmother owned a unit in the same street as Mum and Dad for many years and after she passed away, Dad didn’t want to rent the unit out so it was empty for a year or so. Apparently, one of the conditions of his insurance policy was that the unit not be vacant for more than ninety days at a time.

So every three months, my gorgeous Dad would take a camp stretcher over to the unit and spend the night there. 

Most people would just say they'd stayed there if they ever needed to put a claim in, but my Dad actually did make sure the unit wasn’t empty for more than ninety days in a row so he’d never have to lie about it.

How utterly wonderfully and refreshingly honest is that?

I’m not sure I would ever go to that extent but I can honestly say I’ve never claimed anything on my tax return that I haven’t been entitled to.

Except by default.

Because I once had A Very Dodgy Tax Accountant.

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When my ex-husband and I moved to Brisbane from Melbourne in 1998, our accountant told us that we could claim the cost of the move because I would be working for the same law firm. 

I questioned him about this at the time and said ‘but it’s my choice to move, they haven’t transferred me or anything’. But Very Dodgy Accountant Dude insisted we could claim the cost of our move, which was about $3,500.

So we did.

Even though it didn’t feel quite right.

Fast forward a few years and I received a Very Official Looking Letter from the Australian Taxation Office letting me know that Dodgy Accountant Dude was in fact Very Very Dodgy (you don’t say ATO!) and he was under investigation for Doing Dodgy Stuff. The Very Unjoyful Letter also told me that I would be notified if any of my previous tax returns were going to be audited.

Oh my goodness.

Oh my goodness.

Oh my goodness.

I was divorced by this stage and really couldn’t afford to be paying back thousands and thousands of dollars. For about two months, I was slightly concerned every time I checked the letterbox but thankfully I never heard from the Tax Office again.
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But it was a very good reminder to never claim anything I’m not entitled to. If it doesn’t feel right, then it’s probably not the right thing to be doing. Even if Someone Official tells you it is. 

Always trust your instincts and do what aligns with your values rather than someone else’s.

And apart from anything else, surely it’s not great money karma to receive money that isn’t actually rightfully yours!

I know it’s a little ironic that my greatest lesson in honesty came from Dodgy Accountant Dude rather than my Dad but sometimes we have to learn by experience rather than being led by example.

My Dad was born in 1931 so he remembers growing up during the Depression in Melbourne.

In 1932 the unemployment rate reached 32 percent. The impact that must have had on society is unimaginable to most of us born in the last 50 years.

Dad had to leave school when he was 14 as his father had a heart attack and could no longer work. He is such an intelligent man and it’s such a shame he never got to finish his education. 

He would have been capable of Many Amazing Things. Including Running The Country, which is what I thought he would have been good at when I was a little girl.

I may be slightly biased but Dad would have made a wonderful Prime Minister. Although I’m not sure how he would have gone having to wear all those Suits and Ties.

Dad grew up truly valuing money and at 83 years young, he still hates wasting money and won’t buy anything unless He Actually Needs It.


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Dad truly doesn’t even begin to understand why someone would want to buy a new TV or a new shirt or a new car unless they Need to buy them.

If you saw The Items of Choice in his wardrobe you might think he Needs some new clothes. But he honestly doesn't care. I've never in my life met anyone less affected by marketing or What People Think. 

Last Christmas I picked Dad up from the airport and he had one of those red, white and blue stripey bags in his hand. 

Yes, the ones that people generally use for storing things in around the house. 

I used one to take my clothes to the laundry mat when I lived in London 25 years ago.

Most people don’t take them on planes.

But my Dad did.

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He was dumbfounded when I laughed and shook my head when I saw him. ‘What's wrong with it?’ he said when I explained what I was laughing at. 

I have to admit – and I realise how terrible this sounds - that the only thing 'wrong' with it in my eyes is what other people may have thought about him. 

But it didn't bother him in the slightest so I had absolutely no right or reason to be bothered by it.

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There is the slightest of chances that I haven’t inherited my Dad’s money savviness or bewilderment About Buying Things You Don’t Need.
 
Some examples of this include (but are definitely not limited to):
 
Exhibit 1: Buying $1,000 worth of shares a few months before the stock market crash of 1987. Oops.

Exhibit 2: Selling my house after getting divorced and then paying more for a unit than what I got for the house - despite the fact My Grand Plan was to have a smaller mortgage on one wage. Nope, that didn’t happen. But I must say, that unit turned out to be The Best Investment Ever.
 
Exhibit 3: The more than 100 unread books I have at home. 

Exhibit 4: The 46 dresses hanging in my wardrobe. If you missed my blog about All Things Dress-like, click here http://www.theyearofmore.com/blog/do-women-really-need-dresses

Exhibit 5: The four coats I purchased in New York. Yes, to wear on the Sunshine Coast. Here’s a link to that post too http://www.theyearofmore.com/blog/how-many-coats-does-a-woman-in-queensland-need
 
Exhibit 6: And clearly the fact that this blog exists is evidence in itself.
 
But what fun I’m having exploring all of this!!!

And I’m definitely closer to Dad’s ethos on money than I’ve ever been before. 

He would be so proud. 

If I were to ever actually tell him about the blog of course. 

But that would mean telling him about the 46 dresses and the 100 unread books.

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Image from ijaddancecompany.com
Dad has only ever bought One Thing on credit in his entire life – the house he built with Mum almost fifty years ago. 

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My gorgeous Dad building the garage. It's quite possible those clothes are still in his wardrobe.
Everything else he has paid cash for. 

Everything. Cars. Furniture. Holidays. Absolutely everything.

He’s never possessed a credit card or cheque book and doesn’t even have an ATM card. He has a passbook account and goes into the branch to withdraw money when he needs it. It’s so 'old school', which I absolutely adore.

In complete contrast to Dad, my bank once rang me to let me know there had been an ‘unusually high amount of activity on my credit card’ and when I’d finally stopped laughing and snorting on the other end of the phone, I blurted out:

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Needless to say, that’s something else I haven’t shared with my dear Dad.

Thank goodness he doesn't have access to the Internet!

Another story I haven’t shared with him happened when I went to live in London in 1989. I had travelled around the United States and Europe for two months and upon arriving in London, after paying my bond and a month’s rent on a flat, I was left with 14 pound in the bank. So one night we all went out for dinner and I had the Brilliant Idea of putting the entire bill on my credit card and then everyone else would give me cash. 

This is clearly not a financial decision my Dad would have approved of.

So the plan was going well until the waitress came over to say my credit card had been declined. Oh dear. Not only did I end up with no cash but I also owed one of my new flat mates £10!!!

It’s Not Quite The Wisest Plan I’ve Ever Had.
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Sometimes I worry that Dad doesn’t spend money on what would make him more comfortable as I’ve been trying to talk him into getting ducted heating throughout the house for two winters now. His standard response is ‘I get by okay’. He has a fantastic heater in the living room but his bedroom is absolutely freezing in winter and I just want him to not have to worry about freezing his little footsies off.

So far I’ve lost the Ducted Heating Debate but I’m going to keep trying. I’ll wear him down eventually. In a loving way of course!

Last weekend, during our weekly Sunday night Phone Joy, I decided to ask him about his Bucket List. After he retired, he and Mum did lots of travelling within Australia but neither of them had ever left the country, so I asked him if there is anywhere in the world he would like to visit as I’d be happy to accompany him. 

Do you know what he said?

He wants to go to the Flowerdale Hotel for lunch. 

The Flowerdale Hotel is a pub 100kms north of Melbourne that we frequently visited when my brother and I were growing up. Lots of happy times were spent at the Flowerdale.

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Image from flowerdalehotel.com
How adorable is his Beautifully Basic Bucket List? 

He doesn’t want to visit the Eiffel Tower or New York - with or without his Stripey Bag. 

He wants to go and eat at a pub that is filled with love and happy memories.

He’s quite a unique man my Dad.

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I just love him to bits.

And I wish I were more like him in many ways.

Perhaps The Year of More really is getting me a little bit closer to that goal.


What's something you've learnt from your parents?

Joyful hugs,

Karen  xo

‘You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back.’  William D. Tammeus

6 Comments
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    This is me

    Hi, I’m Karen Young and I live on the beautiful Sunshine Coast in Australia. I'm a passionate, nerdy, loud, quirky introvert who loves words, elephants, people, the beach, champagne, chocolate, sunsets, trees, travel, books, Joy of every kind but especially Letterbox Joy, Writing Joy and Theatre Joy. I adore being inspired to Live More, Love More and Be More. I love fiercely and hurt deeply. I make mistakes, lots and lots of lots of mistakes! And I learn from most of them although some lessons seem to take me a lifetime to learn so Life is most definitely a constant Work In Progress xo

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