Twenty-Seventeen... The Year of More Love
  • Blog
  • About
  • Contact

Have you ever given away something you’ve absolutely loved? (Part 1)

25/12/2014

1 Comment

 
Hi, my name is Karen Young and I'm not very good at selling things.

But I am exceptionally good at Giving Things Away!

After the Brisbane floods in January 2011, I gave away most of my furniture. I had just moved into my little beach house at Scarborough and I still had a house full of furniture I’d bought with my ex-husband a gazillion years before, so I thought it was definitely time for Some New Stuff.

Sadly, the floods left thousands of people in South East Queensland without their worldly possessions so I was able to donate my goods and chattels to those who needed them most. If there is a time to assess how much stuff you have in your life, it’s when others have lost Every Item They Own. 

It really puts in perspective just how many things we have in our lives doesn't it?

So it kind of made sense that The Year of More might involve a fair amount of Giving Away Things as I seek to declutter my life – both emotionally and physically.

I have donated Quite a Lot of Bags of clothes, linen, CDs, DVDs and books to charity over the last few weeks…
Picture
Worldly belongings patiently awaiting their fate
… and as I was going through the house, I looked at my Christmas Tree hidden away in its big white box and decided it could better fulfill its Mission in Life in a house where it will be loved and valued more than it does in The Tree House (where I’ve yet to put it up!).

So I rang my lovely contact at IFYS (Integrated Family & Youth Services) in Maroochydore to ask if she knew of anyone who might like to Adopt a Christmas Tree and she had been working with a young family who had been homeless for quite some time and they had just moved into a unit. When she said their young boy had never had a Christmas tree, I got goosebumps and knew I had found the right family.

And Christmas Tree, well he was rustling away with excitement in his box that’s for sure!

As it would be wrong to give away a naked tree, I also donated a box of some of the gorgeous decorations I’ve collected over the years.
Picture
Bye bye Very Cute Things
As so often happens (to me anyway!), one little idea grew into a Much Bigger Idea and Karen-Joy-Mas was born!
Picture
I decided I was going to happily give away One Item I Loved or Greatly Valued (i.e. it cost a lot of money!) for twelve days in the lead up to Christmas. As well as being fun, it would be a grand lesson in non-attachment.

I must admit I found it difficult to part with some of the items I chose.

But that was the whole idea.

To challenge myself.

Because I’m not sure I’ve actually ever given away anything I’ve loved before.

I’ve bought gifts that I’ve adored (and just quietly, would have been happy to keep for myself rather than giving them as presents!). But I’m not sure I’ve ever given away something I absolutely love and highly value. And not necessarily because it’s worth a lot of money but because it has special meaning or memories attached to it. 

One of the items I gave away only cost $30 but it was the hardest of all twelve to part with.

As some of the items are still in transit I’m not going to share what they were until I know they’ve all been received as I don’t want to spoil anyone's surprise.

Besides, a couple haven’t yet been sent – it appears my ‘twelve days in the lead up to Christmas’ may be a bit of a stretch so perhaps ‘twelve days around about Christmas and New Year’ may be more apt!

Although I can tell you that Karen-Joy-Mas Gift No. 12 was Giving My Time. Which is what I did today. I'll share more about that lovely experience in Part 2 of this Blog post.

One of the most wonderful things about Karen-Joy-Mas was thinking about who to send what to. Some of them were obvious but other things I simply sat with until a person’s face came to mind and some, like the Christmas Tree, went to random strangers.

As I was surveying My Worldly Possessions, I thought about the things I couldn't possibly ever give away.

My Very First Teddy Bear...
Picture
Look at me rocking my Elvis hair!
Here’s Blue Bear now…
Picture
Slightly faded but ever so cherished
The $4 snow globe I searched all over New York for. I shake it almost every day as it sits near my CD player. It represents a dream come true.
Picture
A cushion a gorgeous friend embroidered for my 45th Birthday Joy Day.
Picture
My childhood copy of ‘The Wishing Chair Again’ (not sure what happened to my copy of ‘The Wishing Chair’!) with my cute 11-year old handwriting on the inside which says, ‘This book belongs to Miss Karen Owen, 1979’. I was surprised to find it didn’t have a little paper pocket inside the back cover with one of the homemade library cards I used to make tucked inside it. So nerdy! 

Picture
My copy of the London A-Z I used Almost Every Day for 18 months.
Picture
Jewellery which belonged to my Mum and grandmothers.
Picture
Dad’s mother’s rose gold bracelet which would be about 80 years old.
Picture
Mum’s wedding ring and her Mum’s wedding ring. Little gold circles of love.
And this little stuffed bunny a young boy gave me ten years ago after granting his wish to go to the snow (and the Letterbox Joy he sent was pretty spesh too so I framed it).
Picture
It’s not many things really is it?

In an entire house full of things.

Because most of them are Just Things. Things we use, things we love, things we value, but at the end of the day, they really are just things.

As I also adore Giving Away Words, here’s a little story I wrote a couple of years ago from the perspective of a Christmas Tree (be warned, he’s a grumpy little thing!).

‘Oh Christmas Tree.

You’ve got no idea what it’s like to only be used for a week or two each year, no idea!

I would give anything to be an ‘every day’ tree, one who gets to be there for every family occasion and not just at Christmas time when, let’s face it, they’re all tired, stressed and have quite obviously been hit with the crazy stick. And the kids! They don’t even notice me; they notice the shiny round ornaments that hang off my branches and the brightly wrapped packages beneath me but they don’t really see me.  

Imagine being there, but feeling as though you’re never actually seen?

And every Christmas I get grumpier and grumpier and feel less and less like standing tall and proud. I can’t actually remember the last Christmas I felt jolly and joyfully bounded out of my prison of a cardboard box into the living room.

The other gripe I have is that it’s all about Santa Claus. What people don’t realise is that he has a tribe of elves doing all his work for him! Yes, I know you’ve heard of Santa’s elves but I don’t think you understand just how much they DO. Everything! Absolutely everything! Santa’s gotten so huge these days (and I’m not referring to his public adoration!) that his doctor often confines him to complete bed rest around Christmas because it’s 'such a stressful time of the year'!  Bah humbug, I’ll give him stressful! Try being a tree with abandonment issues and a fear of the dark who is squashed into a cupboard for fifty weeks of the year!

And don't get me started on that show-offy angel that steals all the limelight! What a pretentious gadabout she is, prancing about like she’s Queen of the World. If it weren't for me she'd be nothing. N O T H I N G!!!!

Oh how I wish I were one of the Christmas trees of yesteryear that were elegantly decorated with candles, nuts and fruit. Now it’s all about unbearably hot lights that make my branches wilt and cheap tinsel. Do you have any idea how ridiculously itchy tinsel is? Growing up, I daydreamed of being the chosen Christmas tree in Piccadilly Circus in London or outside the Rockefeller Centre in New York. They’re the gigs all us self-respecting Christmas trees long for. But no, I’m just like every other run of the mill 6-foot tall tree you buy in a department store. Apparently I’m not unique or special enough to be on display in such a public place.  It appears my destiny is to be crammed into a suburban living room with no ventilation and barely any possibility of ever being seen by anyone who might actually appreciate my natural beauty.  

Okay, okay, I know I’m an artificial tree but I do look about as natural as they get these days. I’m not one of those fibre-optic trees that come in all sorts of colours – what a load of hogwash!  

Trees are green.  End of story.'


Hope you’ve had yourself a Merry Little Christmas lovely peeps. If you don’t have an item you adore to give away this Christmas, just give away your love as that’s the most precious gift of all.



I'll be back with Part 2 very very soon!

Joyful hugs,

Karen  xo

‘Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.’ Lao-Tzu
1 Comment

Does Christmas stress you or delight you?

11/12/2014

4 Comments

 
Do you believe in Santa Claus?

Sorry, I’m not sure why I wrote that. 

Of course you do. 

Why wouldn’t you?!

As a child I had the HUGEST belief in Santa. 

And Christmas was a pure delight.

I drove Mum and Dad nuts because I would wake up soooooo early on Christmas morning to find out what Santa had left for my brother David and I. David was slightly (okay, massively) less interested than I, and despite my many attempts to drag him out of bed in the wee hours of the morning to share in My Christmas Glee, he always preferred to catch a few more zzzzzzzz’s instead.

Not I.

I would run into the lounge room where our Gigantic Paper Sacks would be sitting filled to the brim with goodies that Santa had left. I’m making them sound like extra large brown paper lunch bags or something but they were glossy and white and stood 3-feet tall and had fabulous drawings of Santa on the front and well, they were just superb. 

Despite my state of excited giddiness, I would kneel in front of my bag and very carefully pull gorgeously wrapped gift after gorgeously wrapped gift from it so as not to tear the bag, and I would neatly place my presents in a pile on the carpet. 

The novelty of Christmas morning never wore off. 

In fact, I’m pretty sure as I got older, I started getting up earlier and earlier – that will teach Mum and Dad for sending me to bed early on Christmas Eve with the warning that ‘Santa won’t be able to visit if I’m still awake’!!!! I bet parents wish they could use that line every night to get to their kids to go to sleep.

After neatly piling up my Items of Joy, I would patiently wait for everyone else in the house to finally get up so we could Open Our Presents.

Sorry, that’s not even slightly true. I would make lots and lots of noise until they all gave up their futile attempts to sleep in and came to join me.

My excitement level probably reached its peak once I’d opened a couple of presents and realised that Santa had indeed read my letters sent lovingly to the North Pole! (With a real stamp of course! A young girl’s love of Letterbox Joy has to start somewhere).
Picture
I loved that he drank the milk and biscuits we left out for him. Although at some stage Santa must have written to Mum to let her know he'd prefer beer and peanuts, and a new tradition began.

I particularly loved that he managed to survive his journey down our chimney despite the fact we changed from an open fire to a gas heater. 

Santa must study engineering during the quieter months.
Picture
And quite distressingly, I can still vividly remember the day my brother David told me that Dad was in fact Santa. I was all for him getting his Christmas Glee On finally, but did he have to do it that way?

But how absurd to think that Our Dad could be The Santa. 

It makes no sense whatsoever. Dad did shift work in a petrol refinery, he didn’t have time to fly around the planet with a bunch of reindeer climbing up and down chimneys. 

Besides, he often worked night shift on Christmas Eve and we all know that’s when all the serious Santa action takes place.

I never did find out why David lied to me. 

For some reason older people want younger peeps to Stop Believing in Santa.

But perhaps if we didn’t, there would be less consumerism at Christmas and people wouldn’t get quite so stressed.

Picture
Instead of using up the world’s resources making more toys and electronic gadgets, his role would be to deliver hugs. 

To bring people together. 

To encourage people to make something for their loved ones.

Or to do something for someone they love.


Or even better, do something for a total stranger.

A gift doesn’t have to be tangible to be extraordinary.

That way the families who don’t have any spare money for Christmas presents – and unfortunately that is more families than you can imagine – can still enjoy sharing the magic of Santa with their kids. Hugs are free and one size truly does fit all.

There is more than enough stuff in the world. We don’t need any more stuff. 

And yet Christmas seems to have turned into The World’s Biggest Shopping Festival. 
Picture
In Australia alone, more than 15 billion dollars is spent on Christmas each year. Wow. Eight billion of that is spent on Christmas presents and the Boxing Day sales ensure a few more billion are spent On More Stuff once Christmas is over.

A nerdy stat I could barely believe is that in 2011, 2.6 billion dollars was spent around the world Just on Christmas Wrapping Paper.

On wrapping paper. The stuff that’s wrapped around the stuff that’s being given.  

That just hurts my head.

And the environmental nerd in me starts wondering how much of that paper was actually reused or put in a recycling bin!

There is a Christmas tree in a hotel in Abu Dhabi which cost more than $11 million dollar - $10,000 for the tree, $11.5 million for the jewels (do they not have $2 shops in Abu Dhabi to pick up a bit of tinsel???!!!) and presumably the remainder is made up of the wages of the four security guards who constantly monitor the tree.

How incredibly ridiculous.
Picture
I seriously think the world has its priorities totally screwed up.

Imagine how much Good that $11.5 million could do around the world at Christmastime? 

How many meals it could put on tables.

How many vaccines it could provide.

How much safe drinking water people could have access to.

How many schools could be built to provide much-needed education.

Not to mention how less stressed the people in Lands of High Consumerism would be.
Picture
I don’t think some people realise they actually have control over What They Do For Christmas. 

It’s not mandatory to spend more money than you have on presents. 

Presents for people who will also be spending money they don’t have to buy you something.

It just doesn’t make any sense.

If you can afford it, great. But if not, give hugs, write a letter telling someone how you feel about them, cook them a meal, make them a gift, re-gift something you received last year but didn’t love or use (yes, I’m a fan of re-gifting!) or simply spend time together.

It’s not mandatory to Spend a Fortune and Be Completely Stressed throughout the month of December.

It’s a choice.

A few years ago I was doing food shopping early in the morning on Christmas Eve and another customer in the fruit shop was completely wigging out on the phone at 7.15 in the morning! Oh my goodness, can you imagine how stressed she would have been by midday? I’m fairly certain her family would have had to sedate her at some stage throughout the afternoon. 

And she made me want to leave the country and go and lay on a tropical island somewhere to get away from it all. You can feel the stress in the air around Christmas and there is a particularly plentiful supply in shopping centres as people frantically race around buying things and generally adding to their already high stress levels.



The spirit of Christmas seems to be trapped underneath all the wrapping paper.
 
One of my favourite Christmases ever was spent in Mexico. I flew over there on 6 December so I missed most of the Crazy Goings On in the Land of Consumerism which was absolutely wonderful, and it was so lovely to spend time in a country where dodgy fireworks were the norm (they were so cute… they pretty much fizzled out before they got very high in the sky!) and where joy permeated the air rather than stress. That year we drank beer on the beach on Christmas morning and had The Most Amazing Häagen-Dazs ice-cream ‘meal’ for Christmas lunch! It was definitely my kind of Christmas.

Picture
Traditional Christmas Lunch in Some Parts of the World
Although I have always had a deep love affair with All Things Christmassy, that changed significantly for me in 2011 when Mum passed away. I knew Christmas would be different and at the time, I truly wanted to believe we could create wonderful new traditions, but that proved to be harder than I’d ever imagined.

The first Christmas without her – just two and a half months after she died – I flew to Melbourne and was slapped in the face with just how different it was going to be. Dad hadn’t wanted to put the Christmas tree up and without Mum’s special little touches around the place, it didn’t feel like Christmas at all. It was so sad walking into the kitchen and not seeing Christmas tree-shaped bowls filled with Christmasy-shaped lollies and then walking into the lounge room and not seeing the familiar tree displaying decorations which had witnessed all of our family Christmases. 

There were sooooooo many memories tucked inside those shiny little baubles which remained packed away in a cupboard.

I understood why Dad didn’t want to put the tree up but my heart broke a little bit more that day and I found it almost unbearable. It just wasn’t Christmas without her.
Picture
My favourite Christmas photo
We had decided to go out for lunch as we thought it would be too hard having lunch at home but even that was to prove rather challenging. When we arrived at the restaurant, we were seated at a table for four - can someone please build triangle-shaped tables for just these occasions - where the empty chair served as a reminder of why we were there in the first place. As if we needed a reminder. I felt like crying the entire time we were there. It was an excruciatingly long Christmas lunch.

As it turned out, a new tradition hadn’t quite equated to a happy one. That day I vowed I would never spend another Christmas in Melbourne.

The next day, a gorgeously generous friend of mine put on another Christmas lunch for me – the whole shebang, turkey, pudding, presents, she thought of absolutely everything - and I sat at the table surrounded by her family with tears streaming down my face because I was so touched by the effort she’d gone to. To this day, it’s one of the loveliest things anyone has ever done for me. 

A gift of the heart indeed.
Picture
The following year, Dad and David flew up to spend Christmas with me at the beach house and we actually had a really lovely day. It was very low key but it was great to sit out on the deck enjoying a few beers after a yummy lunch. I had accepted Christmas would never be the same but I was grateful I got to spend it with my Dad and brother and that Dad had a huge smile on his face and we'd shared lots of laughs.
Picture
Me and Rudolph taking selfies
This year the boys aren't going to come up to Queensland so I won’t see them which will be a bit strange, but I still can’t imagine spending Christmas in Melbourne so it really wasn’t an option for me to go down there.

Maybe some Christmas in the future I will. But not yet.

Friends have invited me to spend Christmas Day with them which is so very sweet but as much as I love them, I don’t feel that’s where I belong this year. So I am hopefully going to volunteer at a huge lunch held on the Sunshine Coast each year for the homeless and for people who don't have family to spend it with (or perhaps like me, they've decided not to spend it with their family for whatever reason). Christmas Day can be one of the loneliest or toughest days of the year for many people so it will be lovely to be part of something which brings people together.

I also have a little project I’m working on called ‘The Twelve Days of Karen-Joy-Mas’ which I was inspired to do after deciding to donate my gorgeous Christmas Tree (and decorations – you can’t give away a naked tree!) to a family who have been homeless for a long time. They’ve just moved into a house and I know they will get way more joy out of it than I will. 

I have my own gorgeous little Christmas Tree and this is all I need.
Picture
I know there are debates out there in Parenting World about whether parents should perpetuate the Santa Lie (Lie? What lie???!!!) and as I’m not a parent I can’t really weigh in on that particular debate. However, I was a child who deeply, madly, heart-and-soul believed in Santa, imaginery friends, magic and all things make-believe and I'm sure it didn't negatively impact on me in any way to have those beliefs. If anything, it helped to fuel my imagination and explore my creative side. It got me to think outside the square before I even knew what that meant. And I definitely don’t feel as though I was emotionally scarred by my parents ‘lying’ to me about Santa. (Lie? What lie???!!!). 

And if parents say to their children ‘Santa is real if you believe he’s real’, then that’s not a lie is it?


My friend Holly has two beautiful little boys and her eldest son Max (he’s three) had the following conversation with his Mum recently:

Holly: Max why are you out of bed?
Max: Mum I am a bit worried about something.
Holly: What are you worried about mate?
Max: Well what if Santa can't find me at the beach house? Do you think he has a GPS?


After Holly assured him Santa and the reindeer have the most up-to-date GPS system on their sleigh, Max went back to bed. But he got up again later to tell Holly that they need to leave some gloves out for Santa so his hands can be warm when he gets back to the North Pole! 
Picture
I hope the lead up to your Christmas is awwwww-filled and stress-free. 

And if anyone ever tells you Santa isn’t real, just smile and nod and play along. Santa knows we believe in him and that’s all that matters.

I will leave you with My Very Favourite Christmas Quote from One of My Favourite Authors, Dr Seuss. And I shall post more about ‘The Twelve Days of Karen-Joy-Mas’ very soon!

Joyful hugs,

Karen  xo

‘And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.’ Dr. Seuss


4 Comments
    Picture

    This is me

    Hi, I’m Karen Young and I live on the beautiful Sunshine Coast in Australia. I'm a passionate, nerdy, loud, quirky introvert who loves words, elephants, people, the beach, champagne, chocolate, sunsets, trees, travel, books, Joy of every kind but especially Letterbox Joy, Writing Joy and Theatre Joy. I adore being inspired to Live More, Love More and Be More. I love fiercely and hurt deeply. I make mistakes, lots and lots of lots of mistakes! And I learn from most of them although some lessons seem to take me a lifetime to learn so Life is most definitely a constant Work In Progress xo

    Archives

    December 2016
    August 2016
    May 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    September 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014

    Categories

    All
    Being Dumped
    Book Joy
    Chocolate
    Christmas
    Dad
    Dessert For Dinner
    Divorce
    Dresses
    Easter
    Failure
    Fear
    Food
    Job Satisfaction
    Karen-Joy-Mas
    Letterbox Joy
    Love
    Love Languages
    Low Bride DNA
    Mum
    Nerdiness
    New Year
    Self Love
    Spending Diary
    Stripey Bags
    Stuff
    Typewriter Love
    Weddings
    Weight
    Weight Watchers
    Work
    Wrinkles

    RSS Feed

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.